That was one of my latest search terms. Because it is fairly well known I am a stay at home wife (SAHW) as opposed to a SAHM, I tend to get a lot of search terms pertaining to being a housewife without kids. On days where I get pissed I am not a mom these searches just bug the crap out of me. Most days I simply snicker and move on.
Today, I figured it might be a good idea to help all you stay at home wives learn how to be the best damn housewife sans kids you can possibly be.
Ready for this? Awesome.
1. Keep a busy schedule
You do want to look as important and in demand as he is, right? Then it would be wise to fill your schedule up as much as possible. Coffee dates with your girlfriends, window shopping at the nearest mall, running that totally important errand, practicing your ninja skills to avoid domestic duties…oops. Scratch that last one. Point is — stay busy! A bad ass housewife is a busy housewife with a life and interests that don’t include hubby 24/7.
2. Do at least one chore today.
He will appreciate it even if his tired, “But honey I’ve worked all day!” self doesn’t notice (because let’s be honest — many men don’t). Promise to get three chores done tomorrow, including that mound of laundry that is beginning to look scary. Being a housewife can be tough!
3. Promise him hot nookie, cold beer, and a delicious meal.
Or don’t. But since a good roll in the hay makes you a little less crabby and it counts as exercise, go ahead and give that hard working hunk of yours some lovin’. He’ll thank you for it. Hopefully.
4. Don’t whine.
Okay, so I am a master at whining. Lucky for me I have a hubby who puts up with it. If you must whine, do it right after you’ve given him that hot lovin’…but keep it to a minimum. He’ll be just attentive enough to utter an “Uh huh. I’m sorry you had a bad day sweetie.” Promise to listen to him bitch about his evil boss the next time.
5. Compliment him. Regularly.
We ladies know how fragile the male ego can be. That’s why there are so many ads out that scream, “Increase your penis size! Wow her today!” Nothing says male inadequacy like the assumption his tool is a bit small, am I right?
Well, no need to compliment THAT part of him but do tell him how hot he looks when he leaves for work. Say thank you for going to work every day and busting his ass with a potentially clueless boss. He does deserve to know he’s appreciated and loved (see #3).
When all is said done, the best tip for being a great housewife is to simply be YOU. Do what makes you happy as an individual and it will make you a better wife/partner.
Love and appreciate him, even on the days you want to strangle him. Hey, I’ve only been married 1.5 years and effed up the first time. I’m no marriage expert. But what I do know is that a sense of humor beats being a cranky psycho with no life or interests of her own.
What are your tips for being an awesome housewife, kids or no kids? Or if you’re not a housewife, what tips would you give for being a good wife overall? What advice would you give to a woman getting married soon?